New World (Akatsuki FanFiction)
by FxckChaos
Summary: After Tobi releases a jutsu from a mysterious scroll, the Akatsuki find themselves in a foreign world. /Two OC's, Itachi X OC, Deidara X OC/
1. Chapter 1

_**Literally everyone makes these kinds of Akatsuki fanfictions so I highly doubt mine will get noticed or anything. Oh well. Writing is fun. Two OC's, one belonging and named after me, and one belonging to and named after my friend Brise.**_

_**/ **_

_CRASH_

Chaos blinked, different colored eyes opening from her slumber. She tried to clear her head of the grogginess as she reached blindly around on her bedside table. She grabbed her phone and pressed the home screen button. The pink 5c lit up, blinding the pinkette for a moment. She read the time on the screen, six a.m. With a groan, she fell back onto her bed and left her phone on the spot beside her. Brise wasn't supposed to be back until ten, and the girl knew that she wouldn't come back early. Especially at _six in the morning._

Chaos rolled out of bed and tip toed to her closet, opening the white double doors. She reached in and grabbed a softball bat from when she actually liked sports, all while wondering why someone had to break in _this _early.

She grabbed a pair of shorts on her way out and slipped them on, pulling the sleeves of her sweatshirt up to her elbows and then she slowly opened her door, glancing out into the hallway of the second floor. She looked towards the stairs and saw that the living room lights were on. At that moment, she heard a few shouts, one sounding terrified, while the others sounded angry.

_They suck at being quiet,_ Chaos thought, swinging the bat so it could rest on her shoulder. She pushed the door open all the way, careful so it wouldn't creak, then quietly made her way to the staircase. She dropped to her knees and bent down, looking between the rails to the staircase at the scene before her.

Nine people stood in her living room, all wearing big, black cloaks that covered the majority of their bodies, leaving parts of their face left in the open. Each cloak was dotted with red clouds with a white lining around them. A majority of them had a headband with a metal plate wrapped around the heads, all of them having a deep slash through the shiny metal.

Chaos blinked._ Why are Akatsuki cosplayers robbing me?_ She went to stand, but stopped suddenly when a foot pressed into her back. Her breathing stopped and dark brown eyes opened widely. A pale hand reached down and grabbed the bat from her now loose grip.

"Hey guys, I found a bitch!" a humor filled voice yelled. Chaos went to retort, to say she wasn't a bitch, but the person grabbed her by the back of her sweatshirt and lifted her from the ground. She let out a small squeak as her feet left the ground and everything seemed to move by ten times quicker than before. She was suddenly down stairs with ten sets of eyes staring at her. She stared back, wide eyes scanning over all of their faces. She had to admit, they did a good job on the makeup and the wigs even looked legit. In her opinion, the Zetsu cosplay was the most convincing.

She suddenly met the floor with a soft _thump_. Chaos groaned and slid so that she sat on her butt, rubbing her soon-to-be-bruised knees. She glared at the one who had caught her, who happened to be the Hidan cosplayer. He seemed very amused with himself at the moment, which only seemed to annoy Chaos further.

She noticed that everyone had been staring at her for quite some time, so she let out an awkward cough. "Um…if you're going to rob me, I'd prefer it if you'd take my friends stuff…I have a spiritual bond with all of my stuff. Like…I really care about my manga, especially Naruto…you guys understand that, right? I mean, you _are_ cosplaying the infamous Akatsuki. By the way, it looks pretty legit, good job…" she trailed off awkwardly, unsure of what else to say. She hoped that throwing compliments at them would at least convince them to let her live.

The group continued to stare at her, some showing confused expressions. She blinked, waiting for one of them to reply, to say _something._

"What the fuck is this bitch talking about."

Ah, the Hidan cosplayer. Chaos was thoroughly surprised how well he had gotten the voice down. If it weren't for the fact that Hidan was an animated character, she would've believed this cosplayer was the real deal.

Murmurs started to break out across the group, some questioning Chaos's insanity while other remained expressionless. With a sigh, Chaos ran a hand through her long blonde hair, staring at the Pein cosplayer.

"I'm gonna guess you're the one behind all this. Just tell me what you want and I can get it for you—as long as you promise not to kill me," she offered, leaning back and letting her arms support her. Ringed eyes stared into her blue and green ones, intimidation practically dripping off the man.

"Tobi thinks we should keep her!"

All heads snapped towards the Tobi cosplayer, everyone in the room sending him a sharp glare. Well, everyone but Chaos. She smiled at him and mouthed a soft "thank you". At least someone in this room has good taste. Tobi let out a yelp and hid behind the sofa, awaiting an attack that would never come. The group slowly shifted their attention back to Chaos and regarded her with a slight look of interest. Pein was the first to speak.

"Listen up, because I do _not_ repeat myself," his voice boomed. The smile dropped from her lips, turning into a look of fear. "If you answer all of my questions, I'll _think _about sparring you. Understood?" Chaos nodded as soon as the question was aired. "Stand up." She did so, her short height of 4'11 making her have to look up at the man before her.

And thus, the questions started.

"What's your name?"

"Anna Carter, but I prefer to be called Chaos."

"How old are you?"

"Nineteen, but I'm turning twenty next month."

"Where are we?"

"Alma, Arkansas."

The group stared at her blankly.

"You do know we can kill you whenever we want, right?" Chaos sent a glare at the Sasori cosplayer.

"It's the truth. I can show you, if you want." She looked behind her at the Hidan look alike. "Can you please go get my phone off my bedside table?"

He stared down at her, fuchsia eyes mixed with confusion. "You're what?"

Chaos deadpanned. _They're getting dumber by the minute. _"My phone. You know, the little device you use to call and text? Anyways, it's on my bedside table and it's pink. If you would please go get it, then I'll show you I'm not lying."

Hidan looked at Pein for confirmation. The ginger cosplayer nodded once, leading the silverette to walk up the stairs towards Chaos's room. Said girl smiled timidly. "Alright, next questi—" the sound of her door being thrown open stopped her. She cringed; hoping the white wood still remained on it'd hinges.

Pein cleared his throat, catching everyone's attention. "How did you summon us here?" it was Chaos's turn to stare at them blankly.

"You mean…you didn't come here to rob me?"

"Why the hell would we rob a bitch like you?" Hidan said, walking down the stairs. In his hand was Chaos's IPhone, which she immediately reached for. He stared at it weirdly before throwing it to her. She yelped and jumped to catch it, falling to land on her butt. She sent a sharp glare at Hidan before pressing the lock screen button and unlocking her baby. The group slowly formed around her, watching as she pressed he finger on the screen a couple times before holding it up for all of them to see. On the screen, a map of roads and highways was sprawled out before them, along with a blue pin on top of the area the house was in. She pointed at an area on the screen, long nail tapping against the glass.

"See, right there is the Intermediate school, and you go down this road here, turn here, go down this road…and here we are," Chaos said, finger gliding on the screen as she spoke. Ten sets of eyes stared at it, a look of amazement covering most of their faces. Chaos smiled slightly, feeling confident that she would make it out alive.

"Give it to me," Pein said, taking the phone from her hands. She happily let him take it. She stood and peered at him as he stared at the screen. He clicked the home button and quirked an eyebrow when the screen changed to display her home screen. Ringed eyes scanned over the contents of her phone before he tapped on the screen. Chaos glanced over to see what he was on and laughed.

"Those are me and my roommate's texts. They're pretty funny, if you wanted to read them. Then again, that'd be really creepy," Chaos muttered, starting to ramble. Pein shook his head slightly before handing her back her phone. He watched as she pressed on the button at the top of the device before hiding it away in the waist band of her shorts.

"Tell me about this roommate of yours," he ordered. Chaos glanced around and noticed that some of the group members looked slightly tired.

"Er…since you're not threatening my life right now, or robbing me, you can all sit on the couches if you want. So you don't have to stand," she offered, gesturing towards the living area. Two long couches sat opposite of each other, a small glass table in the middle of them both. Between the two couches was an old lazy boy, something Chaos had taken with her when she moved out and into her own house. She thought this would be good for her chance of possibly not dying anytime soon. Since the group seemed just as confused as her, she figured they could all get along and try to figure out some things.

Pein thought over her gesture of kindness before nodding. She smiled and led the group back to living area. She went straight to her lazy boy, tucking her legs under her butt and leaning back into the black fabric. She laughed at how the group split. On one couch were Konan, Pein, Itachi, Sasori, and Zetsu, while the other was occupied by Deidara, Hidan, Tobi, Kakuzu, and Kisame. She thought they would split into partners, but found the fact that the more loud ones were on one side while the more composed ones were on the other.

"Okay~," she said, clapping her hands together once to gain everyone's attention. "You wanted to know about my roommate, right? Her name is Brise, with an S not a C. She turned eighteen a couple months ago and is a horrible driver. We met a couple years ago, in high school. When she was a sophomore and I was a junior, she made dance team and that's how we met. It was pretty funny because she had like zero balance or flexibility. She's maybe an inch taller than Konan, and works as a model, so she'd the one who brings in most the money. She'd got hella short black hair and pale blue eyes—at least, I'm pretty sure they're blue. They're almost a grayish color. She'd pretty crazy, even though _I'm _the one named Chaos…"

She rambled on, leaving most of the cosplayers to stare at her awkwardly. Pein blinked before holding up a hand, silencing her.

"That's enough." His deep voice boomed through the house. It almost made Chaos think they were the real deal. "Since you have answered all of my questions, I'll allow for you to ask a few."

Chaos hesitated before nodding slightly. "If you aren't trying to rob me, what are you doing in my house?"

"We assumed we were summoned here." Pein leaned forward and placed both of his elbows on his knees before answering. "Deidara found a scroll in the outside of Sasori's room. He thought it was one of Sasori's, so he returned it to him. When Sasori noticed it wasn't his, he threw it at who he thought was Deidara."

Everyone turned to give Sasori a look. He scowled and flipped off the couch opposite of his. Pein cleared his throat, once again gaining the groups attention.

"Turns out, it was Tobi." Deidara smacked the back of Tobi's head, cueing a long string of apologies that Pein talked over. "Tobi opened the scroll, thinking nothing would go wrong. However, a loud static sound filled the base, and seconds later we all black out. We assume we were sucked through the scroll and to here. When I asked those questions, I was trying to get a general area of how far we are from our base. But I've never heard of "Alma, Arkansas" before." Not surprising, since there are only 5,471 people living there, as of 2012.

Chaos blinked before sighing. "Please cut the crap. I know you guys aren't the real Akatsuki. Fictional characters don't just appear in the real world like this, unless it's some fanfiction. Just tell me why you broke in and, since I'm a forgiving person, I'll let it slide. I won't even call the police, since you didn't break anything and it doesn't seem like you took any of my shit."

The group stared at her, annoyed expressions etching into most of the occupants of the room. The Tobi look alike was the first to speak.

"Why doesn't Chaos-chan believe Tobi and his friends?" he asked, voice holding a questioning and slightly hurt tone. Chaos groaned and leaned back into the lazy boy, pale hands covering her eyes. She liked Tobi; his façade that he puts up in front of the others actually made her laugh. Even if she wasn't fond of who he truly was, she couldn't help but feel bad for _Tobi._

"It's not that—I just need proof, you know? Even then, if it turns out you are telling the truth, it'll still be pretty hard to believe," Chaos said in a tired voice. She didn't like waking up at six and dealing with possible robbers. That, and the fact that'd she'd stayed up till four watching Kuroshitsuji.

The room was silent for a moment before Deidara stood, smirking slightly. Chaos smiled slightly at his cocky expression and quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You need proof, yeah? I'll give you proof." With that he stuck his hand into what Chaos guessed what his clay holder. After a moment, he opened his palm to show her a clay spider. She raised an eyebrow at what appeared to be a hand mouth, like what the actual Deidara had, but she couldn't be sure if it was real or not.

She stared into his palm before pointing towards his clay holder. "You could have just made that earlier and stuck it in there, or even bought it. Sorry sweetheart, I can't buy it. Also, if it happens to also explode, please do not detonate it in my house."

He growled and clamped his head shut, probably destroying the clay spider. He returned to his spot between Kisame and Hidan, instantly being called a "blonde dumbass".

And the name calling commenced.

When Pein had finally had enough and yelled for everyone to shut up, it had spread through the group like wildfire. Kisame, Kakuzu, Tobi, and Sasori had been dragged into the fight when they tried to disperse it, getting their own form of colorful nicknames.

Chaos's personal favorite was "sexually confused toothpick" and "ignorant grandpa".

Oh how she loved Hidan and Sasori. Even if the two weren't the real deal, at least she could act like it.

When everyone had calmed down to grumbled curses, Pein spoke again. "How will we prove that we are the Akatsuki?" Chaos thought for a moment, head dipping to the side. She had absentmindedly started braiding a part of her hair during the fight. She glanced down at it before slipping the rubber band of her wrist and around the end of the braid. She smiled slightly, feeling slightly like Undertaker. Finally, after a few moments of silence, she spoke.

"I've always wanted to see the Sharingan. Not have it used on me, of course, but just see it. And, Sasori's open-tummy-thingy would be nearly impossible to fake, so that'll work, too. And," she smiled brightly at Hidan, "I want to shove a knife into him. If he's actually immortal, I think it'll be fun."

Hidan immediately protested, calling her name after name until Kakuzu smack him upside the head. Chaos liked "psychotic slut" the most. Itachi held his blank face, as expected from the great Uchiha cosplayer. Sasori stared at her, annoyed look taking over his features. Before any of them could protest (except for Hidan, because his opinion didn't matter) Pein spoke.

"Sasori, Itachi." Both nodded, the first letting out a sigh as they stood. Pein turned towards Kisame. "Go get a knife from the kitchen."

Chaos smiled as Kisame passed her. "Preferably my cleaver."

Hidan groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. She smiled evilly and waved at him, cocking her head to the side slightly.

"Okay~ before I accidentally commit murder, I'd like to see the Sharingan." She moved around so she was on her knees in the chair, that way she wouldn't have to look up if it actually happened to be true.

She was having a difficult time grasping the situation. She really didn't believe they were the real Akatsuki. Hell, if they were, she'd be more surprised how well they acted than the actual fact.

Kidding, of course.

Itachi nodded and walked over to her and stood before her. With the help from the chair, she was only about three to four inches shorter than him. She could live with it, though. It's better than her standing and being nearly a foot shorter than him. She momentarily cursed her short height of 4'11, along with both her parents. Both of them were short, her father was 5'4 and her mother was 5'1. The only thing her height was good for was being a flyer when they did any kind of lift in dance, but that was last year. She had graduated and the dance team didn't need her anymore.

Itachi stared at her with usual black eyes. She stared back evenly, internally fangirling. The Itachi cosplayer was hot. It made her feel all giddy inside knowing that he was as close as he was.

The black color was soon replaced with a deep, blood red. Chaos stared in disbelief as the man's onyx eyes changed from black to red. The Sharingan gazed at her boredly, Itachi shifting slightly.

"Does Chaos-chan believe Tobi's friends now?"

Chaos nodded slightly, wide eyes continuing to stare at Itachi. The color slowly bled back to black, making Chaos pout. She had been told she had a Sharingan fetish (more like an Uchiha fetish) by Brise many times, and never once denied it. The fact that she had Uchiha Itachi in her living room made her happy and freaked her out at the same time. At the same moment she realized she had _the _Uchiha Itachi in her house, she also realized she had _all _of the Akatsuki there, too.

Her house was full of murders.

She grinned. _This is going to be fun._

"So if you believe us, you don't have to fucking shank me, right?" Hidan asked wearily. Chaos blinked and stared at Hidan. A few seconds later, Kisame returned with Chaos's cleaver and handed it to her.

"I had actually forgotten about that," she said, smirking. "But since you so kindly reminded me, yes. Also, Sasori, I still want to see your open-tummy-thingy. So, strip."

The group stared at her weirdly while Hidan groaned. She laughed at Sasori's expression before waving her hand that wasn't occupied by a knife. "I'm kidding! God, you looked like I just asked to see your business or something," she said between laughes, pointing at Sasori's bemused expression. He shook his head at her and scowled, followed by Hidan flipping her off. She shook her head slightly before saying, "So, since you're all criminals and it'd be smarter to be nice to you all, who wants tea?'

x x x

_**Fun fact: Brise actually has **__**Heterochromia (two different colored eyes) but wanted me to have my OC Chaos have it instead of hers. Brise's eyes are blue and brown though, not blue and green.**_

_**Question Of The Chapter: what's your opinion on Chaos so far? Be brutally honest. If you hate her, please tell me why, so I can try to fix it and improve c:**_

_**Words (not including authors notes):3,379 **_

_Welp, there's chapter one. I'm happy that it came out decently. A few rough patches every now and then, along with the Akatsuki being OOC a bit. I thought about adding more yelling and fights, but in the end I got lazy haha. _

_Every chapter with have a "question of the chapter" and "fun fact". I love hearing back from my readers and I'm hoping that having a question every chapter will help some of the silent ones crawl out from their shell. I have the fun fact because I planned a whole backstory for my OC and find Brise's OC really interesting, so instead of throwing in a crap ton of information about them in the chapter, so I'll just put it in the author note and you can choose to read it. _

_I'm planning for this book to be long, so please don't quite reading. I'll try to update as often as I can. At the moment, there is no set update-day. I apologize for that. I try to make the chapter have 2,000-4,00 words or more, so it may take me a while to write it._

_**-Chaos3 **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I hate admitting it, but I did not make Naruto. I think I'm going to cry TT-TT I only own Chaos and my friend owns Brise.**_

_**Enjoy.**_

_**/**_

Turns out, Hidan is a bigger idiot than the series lead on.

Actually, idiot would be an understatement.

Hidan was a _dumbass._

Within minutes of entering the kitchen, he'd caused destruction. Two of Chaos's mugs were dropped, the kitchen window got cracked, a cabinet fell off its hinges, and an area of the white kitchen tile was covered in blood.

Okay, Chaos actually caused the bloody tile. How, you ask?

She threw the cleaver at him.

Kakuzu congratulated her on her aim before pulling the knife from the back of his partner's neck. He tried to hand it back to her, but instead she pointed towards the sink with a grimace. Hidan groaned before standing, hand over the wound on his neck. He gave Chaos a bewildered look.

"You psychotic slut! You could've cut my head off!"

Sasori passed Chaos on his way to the stools seated at the bar. "It's a shame she didn't."

Hidan grumbled and threw a glare at Sasori. "Shut up, you short toothpick."

Chaos quirked a brow at Hidan before walking over to the sink. She avoided the shards of mug on her way. She opened one of the drawers on the side of the sink and pulled out an old towel. She got it wet before throwing it at Hidan. "Use that to clean yourself and the floor up."

Grumbling, Hidan nodded. The group watched him as he wiped the blood from his neck and started on the floor. Konan glanced at Chaos before back at Hidan, and then letting her eyes lay on the blonde woman again.

"I'm surprised he actually listened."

Chaos tapped her nails on the edge of the sink as she opened the cabinet doors underneath the sink and pulled out a mini-broom and dustpan. She swept up the pieces of mug while saying, "It's because the knife is right next to me. Anyways, who wants tea?" only Konan and Itachi raised their hands, which made Chaos quirk an eyebrow. She dumped the contents of the dustpan into the trash and washed her hands. "Okay. Who wants Coke or Mountain Dew?" the remaining members stared at her. She blinked before smacking her hand against her head. "That's right. You don't have Coke or Mountain Dew in your world. I'll give each of you some anyways, so you can see what it tastes like, okay?" a chorus of okays followed her statement. She looked back at Zetsu. "I'll get you some water, since I doubt you can drink either." He nodded and his white half thanked her.

Chaos turned towards the cabinet, pulling out nine glasses. She filled each one with ice and then opened the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of tea. She poured two glasses of tea and placed them in from of Itachi and Konan, earning "thank you"s. She filled Zetsu's up with water from the fridge and slid it across the counter to him, earning the same reaction as before. She turned back to the fridge and pulled out the two liters of each kind of soda. She placed them each on the counter so all the members could look at them.

"This is Mountain Dew and this is Coke. Which one?" she pointed at each one before pointing at Deidara. He stared at the Mountain Dew, eyebrows pinched together.

"It's green, un."

"Coke it is, then," Chaos said, twisting the top off of the bottle. She poured it into the glass and slid it across the table to Deidara, who hesitantly took a sip. He smiled and mumbled something about it being good, which would probably influence the others into getting it as well. She decided the leave out the fact that it was as healthy as a eating a pound of sugar. Chaos shook her head and smiled before different colored eyes landed on Sasori. He glared at her, knowing that that kind of look usually didn't mean something good. "What about you Sasori? Coke or Mountain Dew?"

"Fuck you, brat." Sasori scowled and threw his middle finger up at her. Chaos laughed before turning towards Pein.

"How about you, oh fearless leader?" Pein ignored the title she'd given him and pointed towards the Mountain Dew, living up to the nickname. Chaos nodded and poured the liquid into his glass before sliding it towards him. The group finally all had a drink, which left Chaos to getting herself something. She poured the coffee grounds into the filter and pressed start, waiting for her coffee patiently.

"So," Chaos started, "How long till you think you'll be able to go back to Ame?"

Pein set down his glass and shrugged. "Hopefully, soon. I can't imagine what would happen to Ame if we're gone for too long."

Chaos nodded and turned towards the cabinet, pulling out one of her many, many mugs. The one she pulled out had her name written on it in all caps, along with a date and signature. Her best friend's sloppy handwriting greeted her eyes, along with the scribbled date. Brise was never the best at arts and crafts, but knew that Chaos liked homemade things. So, for Christmas nearly two years ago, Brise had bought a red mug and a few sharpies, decorating the cut for the person she called her best friend. Chaos was written in black with it wrote over it again in white. Next to it, a drawing of TNT to symbolize Chaos. Brise had signed her name under the stick of dynamite, along with the year. The mug was Chaos's absolute favorite and she used it as often as she showered.

"I understand your worry. It must be really off setting," she commented, pouring the pitch black liquid into the glass. She reached for the creamer and sugar jar. "Since you don't know where you are and it wouldn't be wise to let a group of terrorist roam, I'll be kind enough to lend my assistance. You can stay here until you find a way back, if you want."

Pein seemed to consider this. "What about your roommate?"

Chaos rolled her eyes and turned to face them. Some quirked an eyebrow at how she was holding her cup. She held the cup by its rim instead of the handle, something she'd picked up from Levi from Shingeki No Kyojin.

"Brise won't mind. She actually has an artist fetish, so I'm sure she'd be overjoyed to have Deidara and Sasori in the same house as her." Sasori scowled and Deidara made a face. "Now, sleeping situations. We have a guest room for when Brise's parents visit, but it only has one bed, but I think it will be able to fit two, at least. I think we still have the air mattress from when Brise and I went camping with a few friends, but it'll probably only fit one. Then we have the couches. One pulls out into a bed and the other is just a couch. The bed can easily fit two, and I'm willing to let one or two people room with me since I have a queen sized mattress. Brise sleeps on a futon for some crazy reason, so we might be able to put someone there if we have to. Does that work with you guys?"

They all nodded in agreement. Hidan smirked and Chaos raised an eyebrow at his shit-eating face.

"I call sleeping with the blonde bitch," Hidan yelled, jumping down from his seat and rushing towards the living room. By the time Chaos had realized what he had said, his feet were already making their way up the stairs. Her different colored eyes widened and she hurriedly set her cup down yelling after him.

"Don't you dare touch my stuff!" she yelled, racing after him. Some of the more emotional members laughed as she ran up the stairs. The sound of a door being slammed open along with a stream of mild curses filled the house as the two fought it out. After a few minutes, the cursing stopped and turned into feet pounding against the stairs, probably in a desperate attempt to escape. The group had been waiting for Hidan to appear but was surprised when Chaos barreled through the doors, crazy smile lit up on her face. She ran to the other side of the kitchen and hid behind Kisame, using his arm as a guard. Kisame laughed and ruffled her blonde hair, much to her dissatisfaction. Seconds later, Hidan burst through the door, nearly throwing it off its hinges on the way in.

"The psychotic slut fucking stabbed me!" Hidan said yanking a pocket knife out of his arm. Everyone raised an eyebrow at Chaos, who scowled.

"There are assholes in the world that will do terrible things in order to get what they want. Because of those terrible people, I hid a shit ton of weapons all over the house. I thought Hidan was one of those terrible people because he _jumped out of the fucking darkness and grabbed me. _I simply protected myself," Chaos said, grumbling slightly. "He really did scare me though."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes before taking the knife from Hidan's grip and throwing it into the sink. It clattered against the other one before resting. Chaos sighed in content and hugged Kisame's cloak covered arm.

"Safe," she said closing her eyes. Kisame chuckled before ruffling her hair happily. Chaos poked her head out slightly. "So, sleeping arrangements. Since they're the leaders, I think Pein and Konan deserve the guest room. Sasori doesn't sleep, so he can basically do whatever the fuck he wants at night." Chaos looked at Zetsu. "Since you're one of my favorites, you get to choose where you want to sleep."

"_We don't need place to sleep._** We'll just stay outside at night.**"

Chaos nodded and held in her inner fangirl. Zetsu really was one of her favorites. She found the fact that he had a split personality to be badass. She cleared her throat to help clear the thoughts from her mind. "Hidan and Kakuzu can take the living room, since I doubt Brise would be up to sleeping next to Hidan and Kakuzu will probably take up the whole space. No offense, Kakuzu." He shrugged to show he didn't care. "Tobi can take the air mattress. Don't worry, it's actually really comfy. Deidara can sleep in Brise's room, since there would probably be enough room for both of them on the futon. Since Kisame and Itachi are the only ones left, and I have the biggest bed out of the whole house, they can stay with me. I'll probably make a pile of pillows and blankets and give you guys the bed, since I'd feel guilty if either of you were uncomfortable with sleeping in the same bed as me. Is that okay with everyone?"

The group nodded in unison. Kisame smiled and placed his hand on her shoulder, unable to wrap it around her since she was so short. "No need to put yourself out for our sake. I don't mind it and I'm sure Itachi won't either." Chaos smiled at him.

"So when is your roommate supposed to be here, yeah?" Chaos looked at Deidara who had downed his Coke already. She slid the bottle across the table to him which he happily opened.

"She stayed at her parent's house last night. She should be here in," she glanced at the wall clock, reading that the time was almost seven a.m. "About three hours, give or take." Chaos blinked before groaning. "How the hell am I going to explain that we have ten fictional criminals in the house?" she separated herself from Kisame and grabbed her coffee cup, lifting it up to take a sip. She smiled at how Levi-y she felt.

"You could just tell her what we told you," Sasori suggested. Chaos waved him off, much to the puppet's annoyance.

"Shut up for a moment, toothpick. I'm trying to think." Sasori huffed at her nickname and crossed his arms, settling for glaring gat her instead o voicing his distaste.

Chaos hefted herself up onto the kitchen counter and crossed her legs. She blankly stared in the direction of the kitchen island where everyone sat/stood. She stared for a good five minutes, only blinking a few times.

To put it frankly, it was damn creepy.

Hidan was the first to voice the thought all of them had. "Oi, slut, quit staring at us like that, Jashin-dammit. You're going to make Tobi piss his fucking pants." Hidan's yell seemed to bring her back and she turned to him.

"I've figured it out," she said. The group looked at her expectantly and watched a she turned to Pein. "You're going to figure out how to tell her while I go take a nap." And with that, she set her cup down and hoped off the table, leaving the dumbstruck leader to stare at her as she ran out the door and up the stairs.

x x x

Ten had rolled around and crashed into the occupants of the house faster than they expected. Pein had decided that, in the end, it would be Chaos who explained their current situation. Chaos, on the other hand, mentally waved him off and went on a small rant about how she only chose one way to explain things; she improvised.

This was not going to be good.

The sound of a key being shoved into the door panel filled the relatively quiet living room. Over the three hours that they had (they had dragged Chaos down from her room, much to the blonde's distaste), Chaos had showed Deidara, Tobi, and Hidan the wonderful world of YouTube and, after forbidding them to look up porn, set them loose. At first they just screwed around but, as an hour ticked by and they found they were board with searching up random things; they went on Chaos's subscribed list and seem to enjoy watching Danisnotonfire, AmazingPhil, and Jenna Marbles. The other occupants of the room where either talking to each other, reading, or napping.

Chaos chose the last of the three, and found herself leaning against Kisame who was also asleep.

"Chaos, I'm hom—" the voice was cut off as she stepped through the front door, pale blue eyes widening at the scene before her. She seemed to compose herself quickly and, with a sigh, she discarded her purse, laying it down on the back of the couch her best friend occupied, still asleep. She gave the people in the living room a weary glance before walking over to Chaos. She huffed and pushed a few stands of her pixie cut out of her face before squatting down, becoming eye level with the body of her favorite—yet most annoying—blonde. Kisame had woken up when she'd walked through the door and spared her a confused look.

The girl—who the Akatsuki assumed was Brise—held up two fingers and snapped in front of Chaos's face a few times, but to no avail. Groaning, Brise took a different approach and grabbed Chaos's cheeks. "How many times do I have to tell you to not kidnap cosplayers? Especially when I'm not home, they could've robbed us! God dammit, wake up!" she said, voice annoyed as she pulled the smaller girls cheeks. The yelling seemed to have waken her up, as one eye pooped open.

"Chaos is not here right now. Leave a message after the beep."

Her green eye closed again. About a minute went by before Brise poked her again. "Are you not going to beep?"

Chaos scoffed, opening both her eyes this time. "Of course not. Then you'd be inclined to leave a message, and I don't feel like being yelled at."

Brise rolled her eyes before standing up. She was pretty tall, as Chaos had mentioned. But, unlike Chaos, she wasn't a thin pole. Instead, she had had a full body of a normal model, one who didn't look on the verge of killing over. She had a natural pout to her lips, making her heart shaped face stand out more. She had big, pale blue eyes that seemed to catch the light the right way, giving off a beautiful shine, along with thick, long eyelashes. Jet black hair that swept over her forehead in a pixie cut/fringe combination suited her, complimenting her eyes and pale complexion. She also always seemed to know what would suit her best, and today it happened to be a pair of skinny jeans and a cut off Arkansas football shirt—even though she hated sports. Paired with a pair of grey sandals, the black haired girl rocked the lazy-yet-cute look.

Chaos only rocked the lazy look.

Chaos stared at her and frowned. She raised her foot and kicked her in the side, knocking the female back in surprise. Brise turned with wide eyes to stare at Chaos, who had a pout on her lips.

"Stop being so fucking perfect. It's annoying."

Brise blinked before smiling. "I'm going to take that as a compliment." With that, she turned around and plopped down on the smaller girl, leaning back into the couch. She looked around the room, eyeing the occupants. The Three Stooges had turned back to the computer and were currently looking for something new to watch. Sasori, Itachi, and Kakuzu were reading. Pein, Konan, and Kisame had turned their attention to Brise, waiting for the inevitable questions that would soon come. Zetsu was outside, playing around with Chaos's rose bush and cactus's. Chaos groaned from under her, trying to pull her arms out from under the other girls butt.

"Anyways," Brise lifted up slightly so the smaller of the two could pull her arms away from her behind. "Why is our house full of sexy strangers? Not that I mind or anything, but I'd rather know what I'm dealing with."

Chaos looked over to Pein and raised her eyebrow at him. He raised one back, nose twitching slightly. Chaos twitched her eye back, doing the caterpillar with her eyebrows. Or, at least trying to. Apparently she just made a weird face, which seemed to confuse Pein.

"What are we doing?" Chaos asked finally snapped out of her weird eyebrow thing. "Oh yeah. Brise, meet the real Akatsuki. Real Akatsuki, meet Brise."

Brise flicked Chaos on the nose, earning a scowl in her direction. "I'm serious."

"Fine, fine. Ask Pein nicely and he'll tell you. I didn't really listen when he told me, anyways." Pein frowned at that before sighing.

It took nearly a half hour to tell Brise the whole story because she kept asking questions. Chaos told Pein he could kill her if he wanted to when Brise asked if he and Konan have ever done the dirty. The pretty blueberry turned into a strawberry and even Pein seemed at a loss for words as Chaos smacked the back of her friends head. She didn't even know why the girl sitting on her would bring it up—they were talking about what the scroll was, for Pete's sake.

Once Konan's blush died down and Pein had taken out his anger on Hidan (Chaos's cleaver sure was getting quite a work out), he finished the story, excluding the parts where they had given Chaos a few death threats. The mere fact that Hidan dropped her on the floor made Brise break out into a string of death threats placed towards the immortal.

"So…" Brise started, looking at the occupants once more. "We have ten killers in our house."

Chaos nodded. "Yep."

"We have ten insane, anger-management, deadly criminals staying with us for who knows how long."

Chaos shrugged, having moved around so that her hands could trace a cloud on Kisame's cloak. "Yeah, pretty much." She watched as a wide grin ran across her best friends face.

"Cool."

_**/**_

_**Fun Fact: Tobi didn't join the Akatsuki until after Sasori died, and he joined so he could more thoroughly control the Akatsuki from the (Obviously, I'm not following this rule—I need both Tobi and Sasori in my book of love)**_

_**Le question Of The Chapter: what do you think of Brise so far? She isn't too Mary Sue (like, how she's a model and tall and blah blah blah) is she? Anything I should change/add about her? I love hearing back from you guys, so I'm excited to hear what you think about her, good or bad. **_

_**Words (not including authors notes): 3,313 words**_

_Firstly, I'd like to thank my first two reviewers _Insanely-chan and Honesty's Honoring._ Their reviews made me very happy and inspired me to haul ass to get this chapter done. Also, for some reason, it won't let me reply to _Insanely-chan's _review, so I decided to just add it in here in the author's note._

Insanely-chan:_ you're so excited that it made me excited omg. I planned on explaining Chaos's nickname in either chapter three or five. I already have the scene written and I hope you'll like it. It's actually the same reason my nickname/pen name is Chaos (well, part of the story is, anyways) XD. Now, I'm just trying to find a place to add it in haha._

_Anyways, you wonderful readers need to review because reviews make me happy and, since I'm a people pleaser, makes me write faster._

_**-Chaos3**_

_**P.S. I'm sick –o- I always get sick when I drink or eat after my family, and I guess I accidentally drank after my sister. My stomach is in knots and my head feels like I'm being stabbed with a rusty screwdriver. Ew.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Guess what**_

_**My sister found this **_

_**I'm being bullied into making Sasori sassy. **_

_**Kidding. I was already planning on it. I don't know why, but I feel like he'd be sassy. My sister has a theory that Sasori and Madara would be the kings of sass. But, alas, that spot is already taken by the great Gerard Way. So instead they're princes :D**_

_**Anyways, I don't own anything from the Narutoverse. Enjoy.**_

_**/**_

Turns out, bed time with the Akatsuki was actually a lot more fun than Chaos had thought it'd be.

Tobi all about flipped his shit when he saw what an air mattress was. He insisted on blowing it up and asked about fifty million questions about it. By the third question, Chaos was already groaning on the floor and ordering people to shut Tobi up. Brise, on the other hand, thought it was cute.

Brise had found a few extra pieces of plywood and a pocket knife (she pulled it out of the vase in the living room, much to Chaos's annoyance) and told Sasori to have at it, since there wasn't much else to do at night until he learned how to use the laptop or TV.

When Deidara realized that he got to sleep next to _Brise,_ he faked being tired, which only made Chaos and a few others snicker. Brise rolled her eyes and told him that he could wait, much to his disappointment.

After finding Zetsu outside with the plants still, Chaos asked him if he needed anything and both halves replied no. After turning away, she stopped and looked at him as he started a conversation with her cactus. Chaos learned that her cactus is named Derek.

All of the Akatsuki found interest in watching Chaos pull out the sofa-bed and putting the sheets and blankets on it. Apparently sofa-beds didn't exist in the Narutoverse.

Pein and Konan were happy with the fact that the quest room was big. It was the second largest room in the house, nearly as huge as Chaos's. Konan seemed very happy that the room had a vanity mirror and a shower attached.

Kisame and Itachi seemed happy (well, one was happy and the other 'hn'ed) that they got the best room of them all. Chaos tried to make a little bed of pillows and blankets on the floor so they could have the bed (she was still worried about inconveniencing them) but that thought was stopped when Kisame tackled her onto the bed. He grinned at her before grabbing the pillow and blanket she'd set out on the ground and tossing it at her, telling her not to worry.

After everyone was aware of where they would be sleeping, Chaos made them gather in the living room to discuss house rules. She stood in her lazy boy with a pair of fake secretary glasses on.

"Rule number one; you will not touch any of my shit unless I ask you to. Don't even think of touching Brise's shit because I'm not even aloud to do that. Rule number two; keep your fucking pants on. Do not strip for _any reason_. I don't care if you're on fire. Rule number three; do not wake me up at ungodly hours to complain. That's what Brise is for. Rule number four; if you leave this house without permission,_ I will kill you_. Seriously though, literally everyone knows who you are. Unless you want to get attacked by rabid fangirls, stay inside. Rule number five; do not leave your shit lying around. I'm a klutz and will trip on anything. Then there's Brise, who wears heels all the time, and can easily break an ankle. Rule number six; I'm not paying any hospital fees if you guys were being stupid. Let's say Deidara tries to blow Tobi up and accidentally loses a hand, he's not getting it back. Rule number seven; no jutsu's, bombs, Sharingan-ing, eating people, sacrificing people, or murdering people. I'd rather not have the cops on my tail because my guests are idiots. Do I make myself clear?"

Tobi was recoiled in fear of the short girl, holding his pillow to his chest. The more emotional members of the Akatsuki stared at her in surprise while the stoic one's simply nodded. Brise and Hidan were trying to hold in their laughs at everything she had said, both having to smother their laughs when she had mentioned rule two.

"Okay~," Chaos smiled and clapped her hands, something she did quite often. "Tomorrow Brise has a photo shoot at seven, so she won't be here. Since most people will be at church until elevenish, I think it'd be best to swing by Wal-Mart and stock up on food before it gets crowded. I planned on getting everyone some normal clothes because, let's face it, you can't wear _that_," she gestured to their cloaks, "everyday. Since the mall opens at twelve on weekends, we'll do random shit until we can get in. I usually wake up around eight and I'll make breakfast for everyone before I go grocery shopping. Now, go the hell to sleep." Everyone moved from their spots and began going to their rooms/makeshift beds. Tobi hopped over to his air mattress and fell asleep instantly, much to Chaos's surprise. Over the course of the day, the only thing they did was watch TV and eat chips and pop tarts. She didn't think he'd be _that _tired.

"Lead the way, oh blue one," Chaos said, trailing after Kisame up the stairs. He chuckled and pushed open her door, grabbing her by her arm and pulling her towards him. She let out a yelp of surprise as he jumped onto the bed, taking her with him. He and Itachi took off their Akatsuki cloaks before Itachi climbed onto the other side of the bed, turning to face the door. Kisame threw the covers over him and Chaos, never taking his death grip from her. She struggled to reach the light switch next to the bed. When the lights were out, Kisame rolled over slightly to get comfortable, taking Chaos with him. She groaned inside her head at his tight grip around her stomach.

_This is going to be a long night._

x x x

By the time morning came along and Brise was gone (she sneaked a peak in Chaos's room and fangirled before leaving), the house was completely silent.

Or at least, _was._

Apparently, Deidara thought it'd be nice to wake Hidan up.

By _throwing a bomb on his face_.

Chaos knew what happened when Deidara happily screamed, "Art is a BANG, YEAH!"

Chaos groaned when Hidan screamed in agony, rolling over to bury her face in her pillow. It took her a minute to realize her pillow was _breathing_, causing her head to shoot up. She stared down at Kisame with blurry eyes, not seeing clearly yet. One of Kisame's eyes popped open and he tiredly smiled at her.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Hey," she said softly. The other side of the bed moved slightly before the glowing eyes of Itachi glanced back at them. She smiled slightly before dropping her head back onto Kisame's chest, hoping to catch a few more minutes of sleep.

That thought ended when her door was slammed open.

Chaos groaned loudly, rolling out of Kisame's grip and falling onto the floor. Hidan marched over to stand in front of her, face contorted in pain and anger. Black soot covered his pale skin, fuchsia eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Good morning Hidan. You're looking lively." Kisame snickered at her bored tone, but Hidan didn't find it funny.

"That blonde bitch tried to blow me up! I thought you said that we weren't allowed to do that!" he _did _have a point.

"Deidara, come here." When the house was silent in response to her command, she frowned. "Deidara, _now._"

"Fuck you bitch," a voice yelled from a distance away. "I don't have to listen to you."

"You do have to listen to Itachi, though," she yelled down at him. Said man casted her a glance before watching her raise a finger to her lips, telling him to be quiet. A mischievous grin came onto her face as she said loudly, "Itachi agreed to Tsukuyomi anyone who annoyed me. You know, in thanks for letting you guys stay with me. He's a sweetheart like that." Itachi quirked an eyebrow at her but didn't say anything. The sound of feet on the stairs was welcomed to Chaos as she smiled. _I'm such a good liar. _

Deidara peeked his head into the room, avoiding eye contact with Itachi. "…Really?" Chaos nodded, much to Deidara's annoyance. He looked towards Itachi who glared at him, causing the blonde bomber to frown. "Fine. What do you want, yeah?"

Chaos gestured towards Hidan with her head, not yet getting up from the floor. "Apologize for trying to blow his face off."

Deidara scowled. "Why should I?"

"Itachi."

"Okay, okay." He sighed before turning to Hidan. He held an annoyed look on his face as he crossed his arms. "I'm sorry for trying to show you the true meaning of art, un." Chaos sighed.

"Let's go with it. Knowing Deidara, we won't get much more than that out of it. Hidan, if you would please," Chaos said, holding her arms out above her. Hidan grabbed her hands and hoisted her up. Chaos blinked before turning towards the men in her room. "Okay~ after I get ready, I'll start breakfast. You guys can hang out here or go down stairs. Just don't break anything."

They nodded in response. Chaos walked over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of jean shorts and a tank top before opening the door to her bathroom. She casted one last look at the occupants of her room. Deidara had gone down stairs to find Sasori and Hidan said something about hiding all of Chaos's knives, in case she decided to take her anger out on him again. Kisame was messing with her jewelry box she kept on her bedside table and Itachi was trying to figure out how her phone works. Ever since she let him on it the day before, he seemed quite intrigued with it. Chaos even mentioned getting him a phone, if he wanted, but he said no because he didn't want her to go through any trouble for him.

He's such a sweetheart.

He's always been her favorite character from the anime and manga. He was the most selfless one from the whole the whole story, and she loved that. Plus, she had an Uchiha fetish since the first time she saw Sasuke. Itachi was just icing on top of the cake. She loved the Sharingan, especially since red was her favorite color. Plus, he wasn't bad looking either.

About ten minutes later, Chaos emerged from the bathroom, steam wafting out of the doorway. She had her hair wrapped up in a fluffy, white towel and a few strands of blonde trailed down her back, having escaped the towel. She sat down at her vanity mirror and fixed her face up a little. She then stood up from her vanity and walked over to the door. After a moment, she realized that Itachi and Kisame were following her. She casted them a smile and walked to Brise's room. Itachi changed directions and walked down stairs and Kisame followed Chaos like a puppy.

She thought it was cute.

Chaos threw open Brise's door and went straight towards Brise's closet. Kisame stayed out of her way as she rummaged through clothes, throwing random pairs of shorts, capri's, tank top, and tee shirts onto the futon. He watched her, quirking an eyebrow as she gathered up the clothes.

"What are you doing?" he asked, following her to the guest room. She smiled at him.

"Since Konan and Brise seem to be the same size, I figured she could wear her clothes when we went to the mall today." Kisame nodded and leaned against the wall. Chaos knocked on the door, hoping the two inside were already awake. It seemed like the rest of the Akatsuki were already up, except maybe Tobi. She hadn't heard anymore yelling, so she figured the orange lollipop was sleeping in.

The door opened and revealed the wide awake face of Konan. Behind her, Pein sat on the bed, messing with the alarm clock. Chaos internally sighed in relief; happy she hadn't woken the two. Now, she hoped Pein wouldn't break her alarm clock. She smiled at Konan.

"I brought over some clothes. It gets pretty hot here, so I got a few pairs of shorts and shirts for you. Can I come in?" Konan smiled back and moved out of the way, letting Chaos through the doorway. Kisame pushed off the wall and went downstairs, leaving the three in the room alone. Chaos dumped the pile of clothes she had in her arms and told Konan to have at it while she turned towards the closet.

"Brise's dad left some of his stuff here last time he was over. Some of it might fit a few of you guys," Chaos said to Pein, opening the closet doors. She started throwing random pairs of shorts and shirts onto the bed as well. After she pulled out enough for most of the Akatsuki members (she doubted Kisame or Kakuzu would fit in Brise's dad's clothes) she started sorting through them. She noticed Konan had chosen a pair of clothes and disappeared into the bathroom, the sound of running water following her. Chaos grabbed a pair of shorts and a plain black tee shirt before handing it to Pein. She smiled at him.

"Breakfast will be ready soon. I'll call you and Konan down when it is." Pein nodded and watched Chaos shut the door behind her, pile of clothes in hand. She started to distribute clothing, throwing the tee shirts and shorts at all of their faces. She snickered at their glares before turning towards the kitchen, ready to start breakfast.

x x x

"Holy shit! You know how to fucking cook!"

Chaos scowled at Hidan as he shoveled food into his mouth. Deidara and Kisame did the same, earning a look of distaste in their direction as well. The rest ate like civilized human beings. Every now and then, when no one was looking, Tobi would lift his mask up enough to take a few bites of food then return it before anyone noticed.

"I can only cook the basics. I'm not a chef and I don't plan on ever being one." Chaos looked at Sasori and frowned. "What's wrong? Are you not going to eat?"

Sasori scowled and rolled his eyes. "You're _so_ funny. I'm dying with laughter over here."

Chaos smiled and ruffled his red hair. "I only tease you because I love you." She laughed at the disgusted face he made.

"Hey Chaos…" the group glanced at Deidara, who had stopped eating so he could talk. His brow was furrowed in confusion as he voiced his question. "If we're in a different world, how did you know who we are? How does anyone know who we are?" Chaos blinked at the question. The Akatsuki agreed his suspicions and stared at Chaos expectantly.

"Well…on earth, the Akatsuki are the main antagonist in part two of an anime called Naruto. Naruto is a pretty big deal in pretty much every country. Not as many people know about it here though, but you're still bound to run into some fangirls. I happen to be a proud fangirl and know everything that happens in the series—err—almost everything."

The group stared at her.

"You mean…that blonde brat with the nine tails has a whole show named after him and _we're_ in it?"

Chaos nodded. "Basically. If you don't believe me, I can show you some of the less important manga and a few of the anime episodes."

The group continued to stare at her, most having a face of shock. The less emotional ones (Itachi, Pein, Konan, Sasori…)simply stared at her, cocking an eyebrow in her direction.

She sighed. "I would tell you guys everything, but I have to go get more groceries. If I'm going to feed nine criminals and Brise, I have to stock up. So, who wants to help?"

The group stared at her in silence, none of them offering to go. Chaos quirked an eyebrow before sighing. "Okay, I guess you'll have to starve…"

x x x

In the end, it had been Itachi and Sasori who went with her. Pein and Konan stayed home to watch over the children and the three left on their adventure to the great grocery store.

It was memorable, to put it nicely.

It started out with Sasori and Itachi staring at her Tahoe like it was Satan and quickly turned into Sasori asking if she was trying to kill them. Shopping was pretty uneventful, except for when Sasori shoved Chaos into a soup tower. They were able to get away before any workers got there, much to Chaos's relief. Itachi nearly lost Chaos's phone in a barrel of movies, Sasori got grumpy when Chaos said he couldn't have a 'puppet' (it was actually a Ken doll), and Itachi Tsukiyomi'd a chick because she tried to bitch slap Chaos (something about Chaos taking her boyfriend—she assumed the woman was high). By the time they had loaded all the groceries into the car, Chaos was ready to kill someone. The drive back was pretty uneventful for the most part, except for the fact that Sasori would make comments on her driving every thirty seconds (big words from someone who _can't even drive_).

In the end, Chaos made everyone else put the groceries up as she flopped onto the couch. Face first.

"Chaos-chan! Chaos-chan! Is Chaos-chan okay?"

Chaos groaned, rolling over until she fell off the couch. She hit the hardwood with a thud and groaned louder, burying her face into the ground. Tobi watched her curiously, head tilted to the side slightly.

"I swear to God, Kami, Jashin, Buddha, and every other God in this shitty world_, I will murder the next person who speaks_. And no, that was not a challenge."

Ah, but her words never work against those who do not die. Hidan looked at her from the other couch, grinning evilly. "Challenge excepted."

After finagling getting Chaos to calm down and Kakuzu sewed back on one of Hidan's hands, the group gathered in the living room. Chaos had already explained to Zetsu and Kisame that it'd be best if they stayed at the house (one was half-black-half-white and the other was blue, for Pete's sake) and, after a short argument, ended up taking Kisame with her and promising to buy Zetsu stuff for a garden. She told Tobi that if he came with them, he'd have to take off his mask because normal people don't parade around town in bright orange, swirly masks.

He ended up staying home.

When it was time to leave for the mall and everyone piled into the Tahoe, Chaos found a problem.

Her white, 2011 Tahoe only fits eight, at most.

There were nine of them.

Chaos stared at Pein, who currently occupied the driver's seat. He was messing around with the stereo, clicking random things. Konan sat beside him in the passenger's seat and busied herself with folding an old receipt she found into a crane. Itachi, Kisame, and Sasori occupied the middle row of seats and Kakuzu, Hidan, and Deidara sat in the very back. Chaos blinked.

"This isn't going to work."

Pein looked at her, ringed eyes staring down at her. He looked at her hand, which was currently gesturing towards him. More importantly, where he sat.

"What do you mean?"

Chaos face-palmed before throwing her hands up in a way of saying 'I give up'. "This. There's nine and this piece of shit seats eight. You're in the driver's seat even though you don't know how to drive. I'm not even in the Tahoe, even though I'm the only one who can actually drive it. And, most importantly, _you're messing with my stereo._ That's like murdering my first born."

Pein's eye's had narrowed. After a moment of silence and glaring, he noticed that Chaos wasn't faltering under his glare. He sighed and closed his eyes in annoyance.

"Hidan."

"Yeah?"

"Get out."

Chaos groaned and slammed her head against the side of her Tahoe. She listened as Hidan sputtered out a rant full of endless curse words and hoped no one decided to walk past her house at the moment.

"Hidan can stay. Give me a moment."

When Chaos had finally gotten everything sorted out, Pein sat in the passenger seat and Konan sat where Sasori had. Sasori sat where Hidan was, and Hidan sat in the very, very back. He cursed every time they turned a corner or Chaos hit a speed bump, but didn't say anything in fear of Pein. He'd already unleashed a God-rant on the whole car, along with more death-threats than Chaos could count. When they had finally made it to the mall and all of them had been emptied out of the car, Chaos set down some ground rules.

"There will be absolutely no fighting. No bombs, or mention of bombs. People here take a possible terrorist attack _very_ seriously. There will be no killing or sacrificing anyone, no matter how annoying they are. You're not allowed to tentacle rape anyone, and there will be no human-puppet making. It's not okay to put someone through seventy-two hours of pain, no matter what. Don't give anyone a shit ton of paper cuts. No spewing water at strangers. Oh, and Pein," he glance up at the mention of his name, not expecting to be included with the rest of them in the list of rules, "Try not to go on a God-rant. Arkansas is full of Christians and don't take kindly to stuff like that. Also, if anyone runs off on their own, I will castrate you. Do I make myself clear?"

Kakuzu, Sasori, Kisame, and Pein were scowling. Itachi and Konan looked as if they couldn't care less. Deidara was muttering death threats and Hidan looked like he was plotting her end.

It was pretty funny, in her opinion.

"Okay~" Chaos clapped her hands together and stared into the group. "Let's go make me poor!"

_**/**_

_**Fun Fact: Brise's parents got divorced when she was seven and remarried when she was twelve. In the five years they weren't married, they dated off and on. Brise thought it was dumb that they even got divorced in the first place but never voiced her opinion.**_

_**QotC (Question Of The Chapter): who is your favorite character from Naruto and why?**_

_**Words: 3,674 (longest chapter so far—and it was actually supposed to be longer haha)**_

_I feel like I should do more questions like this haha. My personal favorite is Itachi, because he sacrificed everything for Sasuke and his village. He truly was selfless, and I admire that. *whispers* plus he's total eye candy._

_When I first wrote this, I had forgotten to add Deidara's verbal ticks and a God rant, which I had planned on adding. Sasori wasn't very sassy in this, but more asshole-ish. _

_I've been trying to find pictures for Chaos and Brise that I can add a link to so you can all see, but it's actually harder than I thought. At first I was like, "Hell, why not just draw them?" but I don't have any way to post it and get it so that I'll have a link for it or whatever. Life sucks when you don't have the good shit._

_I re-wrote my chapter plan so I could make it longer, and I'm pretty proud of it. I have up to thirty planned, which would make this the longest thing I've ever written. I'm planning on making it longer than thirty, though. _

_I finished Ao No Exorcist and season one of Black Butler and I think my soul died a little. Now I get to start Corpse Party and season two of Black Butler. Alois, here I come~_

_I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I tried to hurry up and write, but my family kept cock-blocking my creative flow. Haha._

_**-Chaos **_

_**P.S. I noticed that every time I try to add the a little heart after my name, it cuts out part of it but leaves the 3. So frustrating.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**I've been skipping out on sleep for the past couple weeks to watch anime (my internet can only play videos from 2a.m. to 8a.m. because I live in the middle of nowhere) and it's starting to fuck me up.**_

_**Knowing this, how dare you think I'd possibly be able to come up with something as marvelous as Naruto, let alone the Akatsuki?**_

_**Enjoy.**_

_**/ / /**_

Chaos groaned. She set her head in her hands and massaged her temple, head ache growing by the minute.

Apparently, sizes are different in the Narutoverse. So, before they could even think of buying anything, Chaos had to send each member in with a crap ton of different clothes to try to figure out what their size would be. She found out Konan's on the first try, since she ended up being the same size as Brise. However, being a girl who doesn't understand the reasoning behind male pants sizes, she was stuck going on a wild goose chase.

Nearly an hour had passed before they finished that, and then she had to actually _shop _for them. After making them memorize their sizes, she sent some of the more capable members out on their own, making them promise to stay in the store. That left her with Deidara, Hidan, Kisame (who was just as confused as Chaos), and Sasori. She highly doubted that if the red head would cooperate, he would need help. But, when she tried to set him loose, he decided he didn't want to shop any longer and tried to leave.

It had taken them forever to get done with _one _store, and they had a whole _mall_ to go through.

At one point, Konan made Pein go into Claire's with her so she could pick out earrings and new piercings. Chaos laughed at how Konan dragged him around and earned a glare in her direction. She then tried to convince Deidara and Kakuzu to pierce their ears, which earned her a middle finger and a threat of being blown up. Chaos literally had to drag Hidan out of Spencer's when he decided to go into the back even though she specifically said not to. Most of them seemed to have great interest in Victoria's Secret, which lead to Hidan asking if he could buy Chaos lingerie. That resulted in all of them getting kicked out because Chaos tried to choke Hidan with a bra.

About halfway through their shopping trip, Chaos and the others had collapsed at the food court. Their bags were set on the floor under the table and they all sat, each having their own conversations.

"Alright," Chaos said, grabbing all eight of their attention. "On a scale from one to ten, how hungry are you?" when a chorus of different numbers met her ears, she sighed. She resisted the urge to chuckle when Sasori said ten and stood up, making Kisame follow her. "I'll just get some pizzas then."

When the two approached the counter, she was greeted with the familiar face of one of her old friends.

"Hey Vincent," she said happily, leaning forward on the counter. The snow blonde turned, dark green eyes lighting up, along with a smile.

"Hey Chaos," he said, leaning onto the counter as well. The red and black uniform he had to wear crinkled slightly, hiding his name tag. "How's my favorite destructive midget doing?" Chaos scowled at him.

"Fine. I made some new friends, and we're currently shopping. This is one of them," she gestured behind her to Kisame, who smiled. Vincent blinked.

"Dude. You're blue."

Kisame rolled his eyes and his smile turned into a smirk. "Dude, I had no idea."

Chaos smiled and leaned back. "I'm gonna need two pepperoni pizza's and two cheese pizza's. Think you can handle that?" Vincent quirked an eyebrow.

"How many new friends are with you?"

"Eight."

"Wow. I didn't think you had the social skills."

Chaos scowled. "Just because I'm not a social butterfly like Brise doesn't mean I'm not capable of finding people to hang out with."

Vincent waved her off. "Yeah, whatever you say. Four pizza's on their way. Just give me a sec," he turned back towards the kitchen part of the pizza stand and yelled out the order before turning back to the two. "Anyways, how is Brise doing? I haven't seen her since her graduation." Chaos sighed.

"She's doing her model thing. She has a couple weeks off after this photo shoot, and then she had to do one for an upcoming clothing line. It's ridiculous. I can't really complain though, since it brings in most of the money." Vincent nodded in understanding.

"Yeah, but you still have the money from your rich grandma, right?"

Chaos nodded happily. "Yeah. Even if she hated everyone who had the last name Carter with a burning passion, she hated me the least. She was a dick of a grandmother, but hey, I'm not complaining."

Kisame casted her a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

"Chaos had a grandma who used to be a movie star," Vincent said, gaining Kisame's attention. He moved some of hair out of his eyes before he continued speaking. "She had three sons with a guy name Isaac Carter and, when the kids were in their teens, she found out that Isaac had been cheating on her with some chick. She grew an instant dislike to anyone who had the last name Carter, including her kids and grandkids. Though, she thought Chaos was funny and when she died, she left everything to my main bitch right here. That started a family feud between everyone she was related to, and she eventually told them to fuck off and moved out. Then she let Brise move in with her and BOOM! The oh-so fabulous sister-like friendship formed."

Kisame blinked. "Your last name is Carter?"

The two blonde's face palmed. "That's all you got out of that?" Vincent asked, groaning. Chaos rolled her eyes and noticed that a tall girl stood next to Vincent, holding four pizza boxes. Chaos paid and made Kisame hold the boxes, and the two made it back to their table—err, three tables smooshed together.

x x x

"That is not art, un."

The group stopped walking to turn back and see Deidara and Sasori staring at the sculpture in the middle of the mall. They stared at it in distaste, getting ready to criticize it. Chaos ran a hand over her face and gave a slight sigh.

"Guys, come on."

Chaos's words seemed to have no effect against the two. Sasori pointed at part of the sculpture that had began to rust.

"The 'artist' didn't even use appropriate materials. How can you show the eternal beauty if begins to show characteristics of aging? Pathetic."

The Akatsuki face palmed.

"There's no explosion, no fiery heat and color, yeah! It's just _there_, and not even nice to look at either, un!"

With a groan, Chaos noticed that people had begun to crowd around the two who criticized the statue openly. "Guys, _come on."_

"Shut up for a second, brat," Sasori grumbled. He and Deidara continued to point out flaws and judge the artist.

"Oh for fucks sake," she said. She walked up to the shortest of the Akatsuki—though, they're still taller than her—and grabbed a handful of their hair, yanking them away from the statue. Deidara let out a a noise of discontent as he tried to pull Chaos's fingers out of his bright yellow strands, whereas Sasori was unaffected and continued his speech on art as she pulled them away. The crowd was full of murmurs, which Chaos ignored. She didn't let go of them until they entered the next store, which happened to be Journey's.

"You know, I think that was the first time they agreed on something," Kisame said, looking at a pair of DC's. Chaos rolled her eyes and ignored the glare Deidara gave her, instead going off into the store to look at the shoes. The Akatsuki spread out, Konan and Chaos on one side of the store, the boys on the other. Once they had all picked out a pair of shoes and bought them, they left the store, more bags in their hands. They were walking through the crowd when a voice yelled out, freezing Chaos in her tracks.

"Oh my God, is that Anna? It is! Anna, over here!" the voice yelled, catching _everyone's _attention. Chaos froze, mouth hanging open slightly as she thought over her chances of being able to outrun the girl, who was currently making her way through the crowd to her.

A hand made its way onto her shoulder and forced her to face the girl, who was smiling rather brightly. Chaos ignored the instinct to groan and forced a small smile onto her face as well. Behind her, the Akatsuki watched with confused faces as the girl before them continued to fangirl over the short blonde.

"Oh, uh, hi Alex. It's been a while."

"Oh my God, it's been so long! I missed you so much! Did you miss me? Oh, I bet you did! Still as short as ever, huh? I'm gonna guess you haven't even signed up for college classes yet, have you? Are you still going by that weird nickname 'Chaos'? How's Brise? Is she still doing the model thing? That's our Brise for you!"

Chaos glanced back at the group and mouthed "help me" before being forced back into the conversation.

"I should come over soon! It'd be just like in high school, you know! I'm free this weekend, so I'll make sure to stop by! Oh, who are they?" she left the blonde and went straight for, much to everyone's humor, Itachi. The black haired girl stared up at him happily, flashing a bright smile and batting her eyelashes. To the trained eye, you could tell that the girl was trying to make her chest look bigger and see that she had pulled down her tank top slightly. Chaos nearly blanched when she realized Alex was trying to _flirt_ with Itachi.

"It's so nice to meet you. My name is Alex. What's your name? Anna didn't tell me she had so many friends."

Chaos face palmed.

Itachi stared blankly at the girl, not even bothering to answer the question she had asked him. After a couple minutes passed, Alex made a dumbfounded face.

"What's wrong? Are you mute? Or are you just not into girls? Are you not one of Anna's friends? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I'm just curious."

It took a minute for her words to settle in. everyone's jaw dropped, all staring at her in disbelief for a second before bursting out into laughter. Itachi glared darkly at her, making her head drop to the side as if asking what she did. Hidan was the first to speak.

"I always knew the prick was gay!" he laughed, setting a hand on his knee to keep him upright. Pein tried to make it seem like he was annoyed by all of this, but you could tell he was trying to hold in his laughter. Konan giggled slightly while Kakuzu chuckled loudly. Deidara was full out laughing, using Chaos's shoulder for support while she used her knee's, copying Hidan's posture. Sasori was laughing and making snide remarks, asking when Itachi had planned on coming out of the closet. Kisame was trying to control his laughter, but he failed miserably, resting his arms on Itachi's shoulder with his head resting on them, much to Itachi's annoyance.

Chaos wiped the tears out of her eyes and rested a shoulder on Alex's shoulder. "I'm pretty sure he isn't gay. Maybe your charm just wore off." Alex made an 'o' shape with her mouth before a pink dust covered her face in embarrassment.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to—uh, sorry!" she squeaked. Itachi rolled his eyes before turning away, kicking Hidan in the shin as he passed him. Once he wasn't there, her demeanor changed. "So, about me coming over?"

Chaos sweat dropped, rubbing the back of her neck while trying to think up an excuse as to why she couldn't. "Well, um, you can't. I already have all of them plus two staying over, so there wouldn't be any space. Maybe next time." Before Alex could say anything, she picked up her bags and flashed a hesitant smile. "Okay, by! It was good to see you!" and the group disappeared.

Alex blinked.

"That was weird."

_**/**_

_**Fun Fact: Chaos and Brise have been living together for nearly a year. Chaos moved out when she was eighteen and Brise's parents allowed her to live with Chaos when she was seventeen.**_

_**QOTC: when does school start for you? Mine starts August 14, so I have 14 or so more days of summer. Yay.**_

_**Words: 2,032**_

_This chapter is short because I've never cared for reading the "Akatsuki are in the mall!" type things, unless something got blown up. I kind of just pulled Alex out of my ass. I only threw her in to make it longer. She'll probably come into play again though, and so will Vincent because I love him._

_I went to my cousins for a week and forgot my laptop, so that's why this took so long. I'm trying to stick to the 'update every Wednesday' thing, because I usually update every Wednesday as it is, haha. _

_Anyways, leave your answers to the question in your review! I hope you guys liked this chapter, even though it's really short._

_**-Chaos **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Reason why this is a couple weeks late in bottom a/n**_

_**I own an iPod touch (4g whoop whoop) but I do not own Naruto. Enjoy.**_

_**/ / /**_

The group had piled in Chaos's Tahoe, a mess of bags at their feet. Chaos pulled out of the parking space and started on the way home when she was bombarded with questions.

"Who was that?"

"Why didn't you let us kill her? It was obvious that you don't like her."

"Who the fuck is 'God'?"

"What's college, yeah?"

"Why did she assume I was mute?"

Chaos laughed a little at Itachi's question. She turned down the stereo, basically telling Green Day to be quiet, before answering their questions.

"That was Alex. She was on dance team with me but got kicked off because she didn't know how to do anything but lie and whine. Just because I don't like her doesn't mean I want her to die. She can be pretty fun to be around…sometimes. Plus, I'd rather not end up in jail for letting murderers loose on some chick.

"God is one of the main religious icons in this world. A good seventy percent or so of the American population believe in Him. The rest are atheists, agnostics, Buddhists, and more. America is known for allowing everyone to believe in what they want to. It's pretty awesome.

"In our world, you go to school for twelve years to learn the fundamentals and then you have the choice of going to college to help you make a career and be successful in life. I'm going to college one day…probably.

"Usually, when she flirts with guys, they respond in some way. She kind of just whores herself out, dates the guy for a while, and then dumps him to date someone else. She was probably really confused when you didn't show interest. By the way," she turned to look at Itachi while at a red light. "Thank you for not showing interest. I think I would've barfed if you did." The car laughed and Itachi rolled his eyes slightly. Chaos giggled and turned to face the road, pressing on the gas pedal.

"So, what should we have for dinner tonight?" she asked, turning onto the interstate.

"I want the shit we had for lunch," Hidan hollered from the very back, only his eyes visible over the back seats. Most of them nodded in agreement, others choosing to remain silent. Chaos smiled.

"Gotcha. Pizza it is."

x x x

"Honey, I'm home!"

The Akatsuki turned towards the front door, where Brise stood, shaking off her umbrella. About an hour after the Akatsuki and Chaos had arrived home, a loud thunderstorm broke through their area, leaving Tobi hiding under the kitchen table. Now he sat playing Pokémon with headphones in. While he sat listening to Pandora, Itachi was a step closer to having her phone figured out, now tapping in and out of various icons to see what they are. Kisame and Hidan had fallen asleep and Deidara was messing around on the laptop. Konan and Pein were talking quietly, most likely discussing ways to get back. Kakuzu and Sasori had torn apart the book shelves looking for a book that entertained them, Sasori's about philosophy and Kakuzu's about the human body. Zetsu was tending to Derek, Chaos's cactus, who he had insisted on bringing inside when the storm ripped through. Chaos was in the kitchen, cleaning up.

The door that leads to the kitchen and dining room flew open and a flash of blonde was seen as Chaos tackled Brise to the floor. The shorter girl wrapped her arms around the taller's neck and began to smother her, saying things like "Oh, how I've missed you~".

"Can't…breathe…"

Chaos giggled and released her hold on the girl, sitting back on the floor. She tucked a strand of light blonde hair behind her ear, smiling brightly as Brise picked herself up off the ground.

"So how was the shoot?" Chaos asked, accepting the outstretched hand of her best friend. The two both stood from the ground and flopped onto an open space on the couch, facing each other.

"It was alright. I'm supposed to be getting the check sometime next week, so that's good. How did shopping go?" Brise laughed at the face that Chaos made.

"I had to literally drag the artists away from the crummy statue in the intersection. Also, I'm not allowed back in Victoria's Secret because Hidan tried to buy me lingerie…and we're having pizza tonight."

Brise blinked. She looked towards Hidan, who had woken up when Chaos displayed her love, and sent him a death glare. Hidan frowned, confused as to why so much hate was directed at him when he just woke up.

"Listen up, you piece of shit," she said, causing Hidan's eyebrows to shoot up, "No one is allowed to see Chaos half naked except me. And whoever she marries. You know what? _Fuck that_. Only me. Not you. Not your bitch ass. I don't care if you are in my top ten favorite anime characters; _no one_ screws with my Chaos. She is _my_ best friend, and I will protect her from bitch-asses like you. Am I understood?"

Hidan cocked an eyebrow at her. "Whatever, bitch."

Brise's eye twitched, but other than that, she remained silent. A silence stretched throughout the living room, the group remaining quiet as they awaited the upcoming destruction.

Chaos blinked, clapping her hands together to catch everyone's attention. "Now that Brise has unleashed the fact that she's over-protective, how about we order some pizzas?"

x x x

"So," Chaos said, picking a pepperoni off of her pizza. "Any idea on how to get back? Or are you guys just gonna eat me out of house and home for as long as you can?"

A few laughed while others picked at their food. A few had chosen salads instead, regarding the greasy food with a look of distaste. She couldn't necessarily blame them; they're supposed to be ninja's, in top condition. Pizza didn't sound or look like a healthy snake to them.

Pein looked up from his plate. "We have a few ideas. They might not work, though. It'll take a while to get everything planned and ready, so please let us stay until then." Chaos smiled at him. Even if he was a total badass, at least he had manners. She always thought he'd be the best when it came to situations like this.

"Of course. What kind of Naruto fan would I be if I kicked you all the curb? Plus, I'm pretty sure it's against the rules of being an American if I let a bunch of criminals loose. It'd be horrible if they banned me from eating bacon for breaking one of the American rules." Brise laughed a bit at the end. The others quirked an eyebrow, not understanding what she meant.

"So, what's on the agenda for tomorrow? I have a couple weeks off, so we could go to the Water Park," Brise said, reaching for another slice of pizza. Chaos made a face at the idea.

"I thought about that but decided it'd be a bad idea. There's so many people there all the time, and I want the criminals to get used to being in public places so they don't accidentally kill a life guard."

"What if it wasn't an accident?"

"Shut up Sasori."

He threw her the middle finger, pushing off the wall and opening the door to the living room. When the door was closed, Chaos whispered, "Looks like it's someone's time of the month."

"Fuck you, brat."

The Akatsuki cracked up, along with Brise and Chaos. Chaos rested her head against the table as she laughed, replaying what she said over in her head. Brise leaned on Deidara to hold herself up and Deidara leaned on her as well, all while laughter rang through their bodies. Hidan all but fell out of his chair, pounding his fist against the floor (okay, it wasn't _that_ funny). Kakuzu was more contained, yet he still laughed. Konan covered her mouth to hide her giggles and Pein kept his mouth in a tight line, determined not to laugh. Kisame was leaning on Itachi the way he had in the mall, loud laughter ripping through him. Itachi cracked a small smile, but otherwise didn't say anything.

Tobi looked around confused as the laughter around him started to die down. "Time of the month for what?"

And it started back up again.

x x x

"When we were little, Chaos would come over and hide my parent's shoes because she loved hearing them cuss when they were late for work and couldn't find them," Brise said, leaning back in the couch as she braided parts of Deidara's hair. Some of the Akatsuki members looked at Chaos weirdly, who simply shrugged.

"I thought cussing was the shit back then. It cracked me up."

Deidara laughed. "What about Brise? Did she do any weird shit when she was little, yeah?"

Chaos smiled and Brise groaned. "When we were fifteen and sixteen, me and a few friends threw a huge party with non-alcoholic drinks but said they were. Everyone faked being drunk and Brise went as far and tripping over everything and 'accidentally' touching a few guys butts and basically making herself look like an idiotic slut. At the end of the night, we announced that they were all dumbasses, and I swear half the school didn't show up for school the next day because they were so embarrassed." Brise's face burned a bright red and her lips were pressed together as she looked away from everyone's gaze, especially Deidara who looked at her like she was a weirdo. Chaos felt great, knowing that she had embarrassed her in front of her favorite artist.

After her face died down, Brise turned towards Chaos, a wide grin on her face. "Do you remember how you got your nickname?"

A look of recognition lit up Chaos's face as well as a large grin. "Oh my God. Best. Day. Ever."

Brise laughed at the confused looks on the Akatsuki's face. Well, some of them. Pein and Konan had already turned in for the night, and once the storm died down, Zetsu had gone outside to tend to the roses. They put Tobi's air mattress in the dining room so he could sleep without being woken up by them. Itachi tried to go upstairs but was carried back down by Kisame, much to his annoyance. Kakuzu was sitting in the office reading, leaving Hidan, Deidara, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Brise, and Chaos in the living room. The latter two were telling stories from their past, the room illuminated by the paused screen of the TV.

"When she was in eleventh grade, her chemistry teacher said he didn't trust her with the lighter and got her partner to light the hot plate. She wanted to prove him wrong and talked her partner into letting her have the lighter and, long story short…"

"She lit a table on fire."

The room got quiet as the Akatsuki turned to look at her. Even Sasori looked up from his book to give her a 'are you serious' look. Chaos blinked innocently, chocking her head to the side slightly. The only one that didn't look like they were about to face palm was Deidara, who was snickering.

"What? You can't tell me you guys haven't lit something on fire before," she said, holding her hands up. Some of them rolled their eyes and laughed a bit, while others shook their heads in aspiration.

Deidara looked like he found his new best friend.

"You're not as bad as I thought, un." Chaos blinked at him.

"You're worse than I thought."

The group laughed at Deidara's annoyed expression. Brise smiled and brushed her fingers through Deidara's hair, gaining his attention.

"I still think you're awesome."

Chaos gagged. "Please take the love fest somewhere else. You're going to make Itachi sick." Itachi looked up from Chaos's phone, eyebrow lifted at the mention of his name. Chaos laughed before flopping back to lie across Itachi and Kisame's laps, arm thrown over her eyes. "You know, I thought it was going to be really annoying and hectic having you guys here. Don't get me wrong, I love you guys in the anime and manga, I just couldn't imagine living with you. But, it's not as bad as I thought it'd be. I didn't expect it to turn out like one of those "Into the Real World" fanfictions. Hell, I was expecting for none of you to put up with my shit and kill me before the second day. It's been pretty stressful, but I think I could get used to it."

…

"Stop getting fucking mushy on us, bitch."

_**/ / /**_

_**Fun Fact: Itachi and Jiraya are the two strongest ninja. Kishimoto said that if they were to fight, it would end in a tie.**_

_**QOTC: how much do you guys hate it when I promise chapters and then don't post them lmao**_

_**Words: 2,115**_

_**Reason for month long hiatus (I think it was a month?): my laptop charger broke and my laptop won't work unless it's constantly plugged in oops. My mom refused to order it even though she promised so ugh yeah (I got my dad to go get it lmao)**_

_**I don't know if any of you care, but it you wanted to know what I look like my instagram username is farrarah ? ? idk I like to know what the people who write the stories I read look like and I like to think I'm not the only one that weird ugh plus if you tell me to update or something I usually do because I'm a push over oOPS *sweatdrop emoji* **_

_**Plus, it'd be really cool to meet some of you guys c:**_

_**-Chaos **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Join the cult of Itachi worshippers**_

_**I do not own Itachi's booty yet stop rubbing it in**_

_**/ / /**_

"Good morning, my loves."

The group mumbled a response, watching as the short haired girl walked into the kitchen. It had officially passed the one week mark, and the Akatsuki seemed to be settling in. She made her way to the coffee pot and pulled a mug down from the cupboard, filling the glass with the black liquid. She leaned against the counter top, scanning her eyes over the group. She quirked an eyebrow when she didn't see Chaos, even though Itachi and Kisame were already stationed at the dining table, Itachi drinking tea and Kisame drinking coffee.

"Where's Chaos?" she asked, taking a sip of her coffee. Everyone looked up from their spots in the dining room/kitchen, scanning their eyes around the room in an attempt to find the short blonde. When she wasn't spotted, they looked back at Brise and shrugged. With furrowed eyebrows, Brise did a quick head count, only making her eyebrows dig further. "Where's Deidara-"

"Hey guys, yeah," Deidara said, walking into the kitchen, stretching his arms behind his head. Brise blinked, a surprised look taking over her face. The Akatsuki mirrored her expression, taking in the appearance of their bomber.

"Um..."

"...Should we tell him?"

"It's his fault for not looking in the mirror before coming downstairs."

Deidara tilted his head to the side, confused about what they were talking about. He walked over to the microwave and peered into the glass, staring at his reflection that was barely visible.

Well, it was visible enough for him to see all the doodles on his face.

All across the tan skin were drawings in what appeared to be black sharpie. He had hearts in a line underneath his left eye and on his right were "I'm" right under his eyebrow, "Not" on his eyelid, and "Gay" underneath his eye, making it look like it said "I'm Gay" when he had his eyes opened. His nose was transformed into a...male part, and his lips had a duck connected to it, giving off the impression of "duck lips".

While Deidara fumed with anger, Brise lost it.

"Holy fucking shit, this is the best thing she's ever done," she said, setting her cup to the side quickly so she wouldn't spill it. She wrapped her arms around her stomach as loud laughter ripped through her body, which seemed to cause the more emotional members to follow her example. The quieter ones chuckled or smiled in humor, inwardly laughing at the blonde's misfortune.

"Who the fuck did this, hmm?! Tell me now, or I'll blow you all to fucking bits, un! TELL ME, NOW, YEAH!"

"Calm yourself, dick nose," Chaos said, pushing the kitchen door open. She tossed something to him which he easily caught, holding up a black sharpie. "It's revenge for making me have to see your face all the time. If you ask me, it's an improvement."

Deidara went to stab Chaos with the sharpie, but stopped when a hand landed on his bicep. He looked back and found a pair of steel blue eyes. Brise's other hand rose and took the sharpie out of his fingers, easily manipulating the slackened grip.

"Let's go get that shit off your face. Come on," she said, dropping his hand and tucking the sharpie into her back pocket. He followed after her as if in a trance.

The group stared at the two retreat, Chaos lifting an eyebrow.

"Better not get her pregnant, dick nose."

x x x

Brise pointed to the toilet seat, slamming down the kid before walking towards the sink. Deidara sat on the lid and watched her rummage through drawers, pulling out a face cloth and some face wash.

"Bad part, it'll take a while to get all the sharpie off. Good part, you'll smell like strawberries when I'm done." She ran the face cloth under warm water, not seeing Deidara's cringe.

When she was finished getting the face cloth wet, she set it on the counter and grabbed the face wash. She pulled a clip from the drawer and pinned back his bangs, pushing his head back slightly so she didn't have to squat to do it. She put the face wash on his face, backing up once all of the tanned skin was covered. She washed her hands and lifted herself on to the counter, checking the time on her phone.

"In about ten minutes you'll be able to wash off the face wash and then I'll have to get whatever sharpie was left behind. Okay?" he nodded. His eyebrow was still creased in anger, but he didn't seem as annoyed as he was.

"Why does she have to be such a moody bitch all the time, yeah? It's annoying as hell, hmm," he huffed, crossing his arms. Brise smiled thinly, resting her head against the mirror.

"You know you love it."

"Not really, yeah."

Brise laughed lightly. "I guess she's always been like that. Fun to be around one moment, an asshole the next. I don't know as much about it as Vincent, but I do know that she hates talking about emotions, so she chooses to switch between the two. It makes her feel awkward and she'll try to get out of it any way she can. It actually took her a lot just to tell you guys how much she enjoyed having you around last week. She only ever shows anger and happiness, and I don't know why. I think it has something to do with her parents, but I'll need a miracle to find out. I guess what I'm trying to say is…oh shit, what were we talking about again?"

Deidara blinked, cerulean blue eyes staring at her. Her hair was slightly messy, short strands all over the place, but it still worked. Her tee shirt and shorts were loose, hiding her model body, but he didn't care. Her face was a slight pink, embarrassed that she let herself trail off like that. She looked at the other end of the room, away from him, eyes focused on the wall while trying to get her face to cool down.

"Uh…"

"…"

"…Can I get this shit off my face now, un?"

x x x

"So…what are we doing?"

"That, my fishy friend, is a good question," Chaos said, patting him on the shoulder. She turned towards Brise, who was currently stretching. "What are we doing?"

Brise rolled her eyes and bent down to touch the bottoms of her tennis shoes. "I figured they'd want a little time out of the house. Plus, what's better than running? Especially since the track looks so nice now~!"

"Where's Leader-sama, Konan, Zetsu, and Tobi?" Kisame asked, a look of confusion on his face. Brise slapped her forehead.

"Zetsu said he didn't want to see a bunch of sweating weirdo's, I don't think I have the patience to deal with Tobi today, and Pein and Konan are watching the house. I think they're just using the day to sleep, though." she shook her head, short black hair moving slightly. "I don't get why they wouldn't want to come. Working out is fun, and working out with your friends is even better~!"

Chaos blinked before turning away, muttering "health freak" under her breath. She looked at her athletic shorts, tee shirt, and tennis shoes, recognition dawning on her. "That's why you made me wear this crap." Brise smiled.

"You're starting to get flabby. Coach would be mad."

Chaos stuck her tongue out. "Well it's a good thing I'll probably never see her again." She walked over to Kisame, who was betting with Kakuzu on who would make it around the track father than the other. She threw her arms around one of his, leaning on him. "Carry me."

Kisame blinked and looked down at Chaos, grinning and ruffling her hair. "Sorry kid, but I don't feel like losing fifty dollars today. Maybe later."

Chaos blinked. "Where'd you get fifty dollars?"

"Alright!" all attention turned towards Brise, who was currently standing next to Deidara. She smiled at them and gestured towards the green painted track. "Since we don't let you out much, I thought it'd be a good idea to go for a run. You can train if you want, as long as it's nothing big and will draw attention to us. So uh…yeah. Have at it."

x x x

"Stop being lazy and set up the hurdles."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Shut up brat. You're too short for this anyways."

Chaos rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "I've done it before. Now hurry up, before Brise see!"

He sighed before using his chakra strings to pull the hurdle from the side of the track. He set it on the track, dispersing his chakra strings and leaning against the bleachers. Since he didn't want to be active, he decided to sit in the stands and make fun of them. Chaos wanted to join him, but Brise carried her back down and forced her to exercise. So, after only three laps around the track, she decided it was time to mess around.

She smiled at him and got into her runners lung, ready to take off and jump the hurdle at the end of the 100 meter stretch. She started the countdown in her head, only able to get to three before someone stopped her.

"What are you doing?"

Chaos blinked and dropped her knee, turning to look behind her. _Ah, it's just Mr. Tall, Dark, and Weasely._ She smiled at him and pointed towards the hurdle. "I'm going to jump that."

He arched a perfect eyebrow. His face was slightly glistened in sweat and strands of his hair were stuck to his neck, making it look like he was some kind of Greek god.

She mentally face palmed. _Oh right, he is._

"Are you sure you can make it?"

She let out an exasperated sound, leaning on her back so she could see him better. "Why does everyone doubt me?!"

"You are pretty fucking short."

"Shut up, q-tip."

"Don't hate the player, hate the game."

She lifted herself up onto her elbows, turning to give Hidan a weird look. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he grinned before shrugging.

"No fucking idea."

She dropped back onto the track.

She pulled herself back up a few minutes later, returning to her runner's lung. "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to jump this. I'll prove to all you bitches that short people can do shit you fucking trees can do, too."

She started the count down from five, springing into a sprint as soon as she said one. She ran the 100 meter, getting ready to take off from her left leg and into her hurdling position. She made it over, a happy look making its way onto her face. She heard a few cheers come from behind her, the guys probably slightly shocked that she actually made it.

She went to land, touching her right foot to the track. Suddenly, a pain erupted from her ankle and a sickening crack filled the area, followed by a chocked scream coming from her. She fell forward, face and palms colliding with the rough material of the track. Pain ran through her leg, especially at her ankle. Her breathing was rushed as she pushed herself up; trying to turn so she could get a good look at the damage. She stopped when she saw the true extent of the injury, turning away quickly so she wouldn't puke at the sight of her bone poking through her skin.

**/ / /**

**IT'S STILL TECHNICALLY WEDNESDAY SO**

**I should probably stop setting dates because I usually end up not being ready :/ oOPS**

**It's late and I'm exhausted so none of the usual is going in this A/N :C **

**This chapter was kind of dumb and one of those 'to get from point a to point b' kind of chapter. It leads into something else that I'm hoping you guys will like though!**

**I don't really know what to say so um I love you all and I hope youre having a good school year so far! Mines been tiring but fun so I'm happy about that c: **

**-Chaos **


	7. Chapter 7

_**Oh, how wonderful it'd be to own the booty.**_

_**Enjoy this shitty fanfic c;**_

_**/ / /**_

Brise let out an airy breath, running her hand over her face. The idea of Chaos in pain made her stomach churn painfully.

After having Itachi ride with Chaos to the hospital in the ambulance, Brise and the others went back to the house to pick up Pein, Konan, and Tobi. They left Zetsu in charge of the house, mainly because Brise was worried that the doctors would try to 'help' him with his plant problem. They already had to lie to the paramedics and say Kisame was in costume.

When the group pushed open the hospital doors, Brise scanned the waiting room until her eyes landed on Itachi. "Itachi!" the ravens head snapped towards the group, dark eyes landing on Brise. He stood from the chair and made his way towards Brise, sighing lightly.

"She's still in surgery."

Brise took an unsteady breath. "Yeah, I figured. Did they give you any papers to fill out?" he nodded and passed her over the clipboard, eyes grazing over the little bits of information that were filled in. the group took a seat in the waiting room, Pein and Deidara sitting next to Brise. She briefed him on what their surrounding was and how things here were handled while she filled out the paper work. Deidara leaned his shoulder against hers slightly, watching her as she filled in the blanks. He could feel the stress and guilt radiating off her, in turn making him feel agitated. Everything seemed so much more annoying, like the bright glow of the hospital, the smell that hung to the room like skin, the sound of Tobi's breathing…

"Are you here with 'Chaos'?"

Brise looked up from the papers, starring at the man in front of her. He was dressed in scrubs, a soft blue color. He seemed late twenties and had dark hair with matching eyes. He was tall, maybe 6'1. He stared at Brise as she walked forward, dark eyes holding a bit too much interest. Deidara frowned, standing up and quickly following after Brise. He stood next to her and crossed his arms, cerulean blue eyes glaring at the doctor. With a sigh, the doctor finally lifted his eyes and addressed the group.

"We went with a boot instead of a cast so she'll have easier mobility. She'll have to come back in a couple weeks to get the stitches out. In six weeks, she should be able to get the boot off. With crutches, she will be able to get around, but it'll take some getting used to."

Brise let out a breath of relief. She ran a hand over her face. "Thank God. Can we see her?"

"She's asleep now, but you can if you want."

After receiving the room number, Brise motioned for the group to follow her towards the elevator. They squeezed in, scowling and shoving each other as they traveled to the third floor. When the doors opened, Pein pushed the others out of his way and began walking down the hall, taking back his role as the group leader.

There was only one problem.

"Um, Pein," Brise called, watching the ginger walk down the hall with purpose. He turned back to see the group standing in front of the elevator. Pein looked at Konan, was was face palming at his actions.

"What?"

Brise pressed her lips together to hide her laughter before saying. "Here room is right there." She pointed toward the first room in the hall. Pein blinked before growling lowly, a sign to the Akatsuki to not speak of this situation again. The other filed into the hospital room behind Brise, closing the door behind them. Konan waited for Pein as he made his way back towards the room. He shoved his hands in his jean pockets while he scowled.

"How bad was it?"

"Oh, it wasn't bad at all. In fact, you looked very leader-ish," she said, voice laced with sarcasm. He glared at her while she smiled.

"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."

She rolled her eyes and opened the door, allowing Pein to step through first. She followed him, letting the thick, white painted door fall shut behind her. The starch white room looked odd with the Akatsuki in it. Aside from the group and a few machines, the room is bare. The tile is starch white with specks of gray. The walls are an off-white color and everything else is a grey color. It was dreary in the room, dull.

Pein glanced around, noticing all five chairs next to the bed were taken up. He fixates his glare on Hidan, who scowls and stands. Hidan moves to the other wall, leaning against it and staring the hospital bed. The others next to him do the same. Brise sat on the side of the bed, legs criss-crossed as she brushed strands of blonde hair out of Chaos's face.

She looked tired.

Glancing at her now, the group could see how the miracle of make-up worked for Chaos. The normal energetic and happy look she usually wore was wiped away by the nurses. Her skin was a bit paler than usual, making the dark bags underneath her eyes more pronounced. Her eyelids were a light purple color, making them look bruised. They guessed she usually had the dark skin covered, because they'd never noticed before. Her lips were pale, whatever false color they had earlier gone. Her pale blonde hair was pulled back into a bun, some of the shorter pieces of her bangs left out to sweep across her forehead. The bright blue hospital gown was huge, making her look small and washed out. Her leg was held into the air, a bulky boot encasing it. The black plastic wound around the sides of her ankle and connected with . The bottom was curved outwards, thin at the toes and heel and thick in the middle of her foot. Her toes stuck out at the end, pastel pink nails catching the light.

"It's official," Brise said with a thin smile. "No more sports for Chaos."

The group laughed bitterly. Just then, the door opened and Tobi skipped in, holding at least ten lollipops in his hands. The watched him skid to a stop and sit on the side of Chaos's hospital bed and start sticking them on her. After placing one behind each ear and through her bun, Brise snapped out of it.

"Tobi, where have you been?" she hadn't seen him leave the group. Hell, she didn't think anyone saw him leave the group.

An orange mask turned towards her. A red eye flashed and, for the first time all week, Brise remembered that Tobi is not Tobi.

"Chaos was hurt and when Tobi gets hurt, lollipops make him feel better! A nice lady in the lobby gave Tobi them!" he rattled on, talking about nice ladies and lollipops. Brise lifted a hand to stop him, which it did.

"Why are you sticking them on Chaos?"

"Chaos doesn't look sweet right now, so Tobi decided to fix it."

Brise's lips parted to respond but she stopped when the body next to her moved.

"Fuck you too, Tobi."

Brise immediately flung at her, wrapping her arms around the blonde. Chaos made a choking sound, hands gripping Brise's elbows as the black haired girl strangled her with love.

"Oh my God, I am so so sorry that I made you go to the track. I am so sorry I said you were getting flabby and that coach would be disappointed. I'll never make you run ever again. Never ever ever. I'll let you get as fat as you want and I won't say a single word, I promise. I am so sorry."

Chaos gagged. She looked towards Brise with wide eyes. "Really?!" Brise smiled and nodded. Chaos cheered, shoving Brise off her. She reached forward and lifted her leg out of the air, pointing to Itachi. "Come on weasel boy, we're celebrating!" he stared at her with an eyebrow cocked, a ghost of a smirk on his face. Chaos grabbed the IV and set her feet on the ground, waddling forward towards the door. She heard a gasp behind her and turned her head, seeing Konan and Brise staring at her with wide eyes. Konan's mouth was covered, and Brise looked like she just saw Chaos's panties.

Probably because she did.

"Oh shit bitch!" Chaos said, reaching back quickly to close the flap. She stood awkwardly, trying not to put too much weight on her ankle and trying to keep the back of the gown closed. The guys in the chairs, were face palming, done with Chaos.

Sasori shifted. "Well today's been eventful."

_**/ / /**_

_**Fun Fact: Brise's full name is Rushell Brise Williams.**_

_**QOTC: what are your three favorite animes? Mine are: Kuroshitsuji, Durarara, and D. Gray-man. Naruto is number five on my list **___

_This chapter is shorter than usual. I planned on making a long authors note, and it's important that you read this. _

_First of all: I'm taking two month off from updating. I'll start back up in November. I'm using that time to edit/rewrite the chapters I've already written because I feel like I've been neglecting characters and I want to change that. I'm also using that time to get ahead of my updating schedule, since school has been slowing me down and in turn my updates are getting later and later. _

_Second: I'm trying to revive an old Itachi fanfiction from my wattpad account and I'll be posting it here. It'll probably come out when I start updating again. At the moment it's titled _I Don't Want To Be In Love_, which is cliché as fuck, so I'll be changing that. If you want to check it out, there's a link to my wattpad profile in my bio. It'd really mean a lot if all of you checked it out when I post it _

_That's it for today. I hope you guys stick with me through these next two months. I love you all c:_


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